I Do
by quinntubbington
Summary: A story about learning to love again. Because some promises are worth fighting for. Faberry The Vow AU.
1. Crimson coat

Dear Readers,

Disclaimer: I started this story a while back, only publishing two chapters. These two chapters can be found in my previous fanfiction, which is essentially this one. I lost my muse last time so when I decided to now continue it, I thought it best to start essentially fresh. However I have tweaked and corrected a few things, so it's worth rereading.

So just a few things to note; the chapters vary in length, but the first is definitely the shortest. Also, and perhaps most importantly, this is based on the film "The Vow" - it will be very similar plot wise, but with of course some changes. If you've seen the film, I hope you enjoy my take on it - and if you haven't, then please know where many of my ideas have come from.

Finally, The story spans the course of three years - starting in June 2010, following through to 'present day' which is December 2013. The story will jump between times within a chapter, so I'll make sure to state the date in each section. I will do my best to update as often as I can and I really hope you enjoy it! Reviews and comments are highly appreciated :)

- Bea

* * *

**Chapter One**

** December 2013 **

"Quinn?" Rachel called, her crimson coat making its way out into New York City.

As soon as she entered the freezing street she missed the comfort and warmth of the small theatre she'd been hibernating in for the last few hours. It was Saturday, after all. Saturday's had become a sort of theatre day in their household, and this evening was no exception. Of course not all Saturday's were filled with Broadway shows (those were reserved for special occasions), but anything theatrical filled the space. This production was sort of a 'slam poetry' thing Quinn had bribed Rachel into going. That was Quinn for you, the Yale English major.

Quinn had finished Yale six months ago, after which she'd moved to New York with Rachel. It wasn't exactly glamorous though, and a few unpaid water bills last year had meant that Rachel and her roommate had to think of something besides working in the local diner to keep them afloat. Jack was also at NYADA, but his family came from a line of Italians that knew how to make a mean coffee. That and his charmingly good looks (as well as connections in the food industry) had lead to the opening of a small coffee shop below their apartment.  
The Tubbington had now fully established itself and was a fairly thriving hipster location with an almost famous Vegan cheesecake that Rachel made herself. Whenever Quinn came to visit she played her part in waitressing and running the place. It was there where she met people that introduced her to a hobby she never believed she could be good at. Quinn found herself falling in love with the world behind a camera lens. She was even hoping to start up her own studio sometime next year, even if it was going to be behind The Tubbington.  
Of course her parents weren't too happy, but the Fabray's hadn't really been in the picture for a while now. As soon as Quinn told them about her relationship with Rachel, she got cut out of the suburban perfect family. The brunette felt immensely guilty during the months that followed Quinn's exile, but somehow the nonchalance and brazen acceptance that Quinn showed convinced Rachel that maybe she was better off without them. Besides, Frannie Fabray seemed to be a perfect enough for the both of them.

This wasn't the first Christmas the girls had spent together, but it was the first one in their new home where they were both officially New York citizens. Jack had gone back to Florence to be with his family, whilst the Berry dad's had booked themselves a Caribbean cruise this year - which meant that not only was apartment was all theirs for the festive season, they also had zero family commitments. Rachel could almost taste the movie marathons. It would be a nice break for her before January, that's when the gruesome trial of auditions would begin. Rachel hadn't struck her break out role just yet, but so far she was enjoying the baby-steps in getting there. She'd only just graduated from NYADA, but luckily the success of The Tubbington meant that Rachel was able to actually try and pursue her career in musical theatre, which wasn't an opportunity a lot of postgraduates could actually afford. Truthfully, things were looking up for her.

"Just coming" The blonde called back as she gracefully made her way to Rachel's side.

Quinn stood still and stared at the sight before her, taking in everything New York had to offer. It was snowing – it was a white Christmas in New York with her girlfriend, or since September, her fiancé. She liked that word just as much as she liked the diamond bands on their index fingers. Quinn's mouth parted slightly as she continued to look around.

"I could've sworn there was hardly an inch when we went in. It's so beautiful…" She added in disbelief at the carpet of snow that layered the street.

Rachel just chuckled as she watched her New Haven girl admire the city.

Quinn had moved in that August, and a month later Rachel proposed. She knew that Quinn had been thinking about doing it herself (or so Santana informed her), but Rachel wanted to be the one to do it, especially since Quinn not only got to say 'I love you' first, but was also the one to ask Rachel to be her girlfriend. It wasn't like it was a competition, but when Rachel was determined about something then there's no stopping her.

It warmed Rachel's heart to see Quinn love New York just as much as she did. The brunette nestled closer to the warmth of Quinn's dark coat as she instinctively linked her arm with hers, an immediate sense of belonging followed.  
Quinn had been in her life for more than three years now, though sometimes it felt like ten. However, Rachel was glad that she hadn't gone to the same high school as the girl. Not only was she thankful that Quinn was spared from her even bossier days, but the thought of having to watch her be with other people was too painful to imagine. That would've been inevitable of course, because girls like Quinn always had someone. They didn't have to be dating someone, but it was a simple fact that at least ten people would've had a crush on her. That combined with both of them being in the closet wouldn't have ended well. But they had their whole life ahead of them to be together, and that was a thought that always made Rachel smile.

"Come on, get in!" Rachel squeaked as she ran for cover into the vehicle, exhaling once inside and protected. Quickly she buckled her seatbelt and tried to find the blonde, which under the sheet of white that lay on top of the car was almost impossible. She heard a rubbing noise and was met with a pair of black-gloved hands wiping away the snow from the windshield. Bit by bit, more of Quinn was revealed with each stroke. Rachel silently waved at her as she could finally see her face. Quinn's nose scrunched back in return.

"It's good, it's good – come on!" Rachel called, loud enough for Quinn to hear.

The blonde rolled her eyes as she gave up on her task and rushed her way to the other door, Rachel stretched over to open it for her as best as she could. Quinn scuttled in and slammed the car shut, not letting the slight warmth from the car escape.

"Warm my fingers, warm my fingers!" Quinn half demanded and half begged, her porcelain nose now raspberry red. Rachel chuckled to herself as she rubbed her own hands together to generate heat before enclosing Quinn's in them – jumping at the touch of her frozen skin.

"I think you have hypothermia." Rachel said in her most serious tone possible as she kept Quinn's hands as warm as she could.

"Wear red to my funeral?" Quinn joked, poking up an eyebrow. Rachel just rolled her eyes and shoved the blonde before buckling her seatbelt and starting the ignition. Quinn fastened her own.

As Rachel pulled out and made their way home to their studio she fiddled with the radio, that was until she found the perfect station. Some number from "Annie The Musical" began to play and within a second Rachel knew exactly what line they were on – and swiftly began to join in. Quinn's eyebrows furrowed in judgement as she watched whilst leaning back into the warmth of her seat. Some musicals were okay for Quinn, or more accurately - most. She loved plenty of them and the majority she could stand, however, Annie was not one of them. It was probably since her older sister Frannie got the lead role of their middle school production of it. Quinn's parents wouldn't shut up about it, and it was used as a constant reminder and tool against the younger Fabray. Apparently it was just 'healthy competition' and 'character building', but that ringlet ginger wig still sent a shiver down Quinn's spine.

"This song is terrible. You can't like this song!?" Quinn complained, her eyebrows still crossed in dismay. "Please tell me you don't like this song..."

Rachel just continued to sing, even more enthusiastically and adding some of her famous exaggerated singing expressions - ones she knew were Quinn's favourite. As she continued belting out the high notes, it wasn't long before Quinn broke, a smile shattering onto her lips as the laughter escaped. Rachel just increased the volume, all for that laugh. She would do anything in the world to hear that laugh.

"You have to turn it off!" Quinn called over the song but Rachel's performance was impossible to resist, a cackle roared over Quinn as she squeezed her eyes shut. "Oh god - I'm getting married to a doofus, please stop."

"What did you call me?" Rachel teased, pretending to be insulted as Quinn just laughed louder. Rachel's own hand stayed firmly on the wheel as the other tucked into Quinn's coat, finding a place Rachel knew all to well – the place that made the blonde squirm. The tickles rampaged Quinn as she curdled away from Rachel's touch, a beaming grin matched on both their lips. Rachel slowed down as they hit a red light, even though there wasn't a car in sight. She could still make out the stop sign through the heavy snow that continued to fall. She considered herself a fairly law abiding citizen, with a few exceptions here and there.

Quinn was still smiling as she turned a little to face Rachel as much as she could with her seatbelt on. "So I have this theory." Quinn began, licking her lips before she spoke - she'd only just managed to recover from the laughter that had filled her lungs seconds ago. Rachel's eyes briefly fluttered towards her as she 'mhm'd' in response for Quinn to continue. "Well you know girls are guaranteed to get pregnant in a car, so I mean maybe it wont be an exception for us." She murmured with a smirk, her eyebrows arching convincingly as she implied exactly what she wanted to do. Rachel's expression fell slightly with anticipation. Quinn's deliciously red nails gripped her seatbelt as she unbuckled it. She leaned over the seat as she caught Rachel's lips in her own, pulling her closer.

A pair of headlights glowed behind them.

It all happened in a blink, but that's what everyone says. That's the theory about impacts.

So when that loading truck hit the small car, perhaps the girls were still kissing.  
When that small car smashed into the electricity pole with an abrupt force, maybe Quinn was still thinking about Rachel's lips.

But when she shattered through the cracked windscreen, head first, and collided into the rummage in front of her there was no doubt that Quinn was thinking about anything. Feeling anything.

But as the sirens roared, that was neither a guarantee nor a comfort to Rachel's blistered eyes – that through the blood trickling down her own forehead, could still make out her girlfriend's limp body on top of the car.

Not her girlfriend's, but her fiancé's.


	2. Vanilla kisses

**Chapter 2 **

**December 15th 2013 (present day)**

Rachel's eyes flashed open, only to be met with the harsh bright light held in a doctors hand.

Her dark lashes blinked manically as she hastily regained consciousness, instantly feeling the restrictions all over her body.

Her arms - tied by her side as to keep her back down. Her head - fastened into some sort of a harness that sent shooting pains down her spine. All around her the room blurred and glowed, a white noise of people talking and machines working. Were they working to keep her alive? Was she alive? These would be the kind of questions Rachel would have been thinking of, but instead she only thought of one. Quinn.

The name escaped her lips just as the thought hit. She repeated it louder, more frantically – it was as if everyone was ignoring her. Why was no one telling her about Quinn? Where was Quinn? What had happened to Quinn?

"Ma'am, please stay still. You've been in an accident, you're safe now." A nurse informed her, just as she had probably told a million other patients too.

Rachel didn't want to think about how many of those had made it out.

"Quinn, blonde" Rachel managed, but it felt like her throat was working against her, her lungs tightening up and giving out all at once.

The familiar and friendly darkness began to cloud her vision, tempting her into a blissful unconsciousness. An unconsciousness where the crash didn't happen, where everything was fine. It was too sweet to resist, too painful to hold on. Rachel gave in, her nose recognizing Quinn's perfume as she slipped back into the darkness. Numbness drowned her body, silence washed over her ears.

* * *

**The First Meeting**

**June 22nd 2010**

"Okay, she just texted and she's going to be here in any second."

Santana's dress hugged her hips as she swerved her way around Rachel's bedroom. It was still new to Rachel, being friends with _Santana Lopez_. After all, she was head of the cheerios. But she was also part of glee club, and after three years it seemed as if they'd finally managed to be friends – and share common ground too. Santana's gaydar went ringing from the moment she met Rachel, so when Rachel had come out to her in Junior year, Santana was hardly surprised – but definitely supportive. So was her girlfriend, Brittany. They'd both managed to keep Rachel's secret.

It was Senior prom and the three girls had decided to go together, since Rachel was dateless – though as she liked to put it, all talented women are at some point or another. However, the brunette couldn't help but feel she was slightly third wheeling – that's when Santana decided to invite Quinn.

Quinn was a childhood friend of Santana's and lived further down south. The two had met a cheer-camp and had stayed friends since. Rachel didn't know anything else, except that she'd recently dropped cheerleading, was apparently straight and also breathtakingly beautiful. The latter wasn't exactly a great combination for Rachel, but Santana was pretty insistent on the two of them meeting. And maybe the gorgeous part got Rachel to finally agree.

Moments of impact happen in all kinds of ways, and Quinn Fabray walking into Rachel's life was perhaps the biggest one she'd ever experienced. So far.

"Are you sure she's okay with it? She wont know anyone…" Rachel mumbled, worrying to herself as she tugged a hairbrush through her locks. She'd settled with a pastel pink dress that verged on nude – it was simple, but pretty – or so her dad's had insisted.

Santana pulled down the neckline an inch and then agreed.

"She's not shy." Brittany added from the other side of the room as she patted on what seemed to be glitter onto her eyelashes.

"Oh…she's not?" Rachel prompted, fiddling with her mascara but desperately wanting to know more.

"Yeah, she's all kinds of fierce."

"Oh am I?" A new, low and silky voice graced. Rachel looked up into the mirror, only to see another figure in it besides herself. Her mascara slipped through her hands and landed onto the desk with a clash.

Quinn Fabray was a vision.

Her sharp hazel eyes gleamed with a tint of emerald, not quite brown and not quite green –a color that tempted you to stare into them for eternity. Looking at her was like stepping back to a different era, an ethereal and elegant glamour shone in an aura around her. A Grace Kelly with light porcelain skin that glimmered with a pearl sheen. Her ash blonde hair was gathered in a slight bun, accenting two aqua marine jewels that hung off her ears. They were the same colour as her chiffon baby blue dress, enchanted with sheer detailing.

Those very eyes were arched with perfectly quizzical brows, which with a half smile of those cupid's lips indicated she was still waiting for a reply. The whole room was waiting. Rachel remained struck and frozen. As her chocolate eyes found herself in the mirror she realized her mouth was hanging open. Instantly her cheeks flushed a deep rose as her pitch black lashes darted down onto her lap in attempt to recover.

"You must be Quinn" Rachel blurted out, still looking into her lap.

"And you must be Rachel. But I'm also something else" The girl added with a tilt of her head, her eyes tempting Rachel into looking at them.

"What?" Rachel asked, only realising how rude it sounded after the word had left her lips.

"Your date." The blonde assured, her lips tugging into a smile.

* * *

**The First Goodbye **

**June 22nd 2010**

"I had fun tonight, Rachel. Thank you." Quinn said smoothly, standing by her car in the darkness. Her eyes didn't leave Rachel once, as if she wanted to take as much of the girl in before she said goodbye.

"Quinn, I-"

"I leave for Yale this September. Early entry." The blonde explained, pressing her lips together as she nodded and looking down.

"You didn't know what I was going to say."

"I just presumed that.." she halted, rephrasing her sentence with a sense of control. "I had a good time tonight so I thought you'd were thinking the same thing I was." The blonde finished, a sort of practiced smile accompanying her distant eyes.

"And what's that…" Rachel's eyebrows furrowed anxiously. Quinn took in a deep breath, the kind that made her collar bones raise in the best of ways. Rachel held onto that breath with every hope. She knew there wasn't much of it, not only was Quinn straight but she was beautiful. Her thoughts were interrupted by Quinn's voice, the best kind of interruption there was.

"That I want to see you again, maybe we could be friends." she shrugged, but her nonchalance was unconvincing. The edge in her voice showed Rachel that it wasn't an easy sentence to say for her. Rachel desperately wanted to know why. She had plenty of questions, but she couldn't ask them all at once. She couldn't even think of them all at once. Quinn was a book of unanswered questions that Rachel wanted to read over and over again.

"I do too." Rachel finally agreed, swallowing hard. She felt her heart drum against her rib cage as a pang of courage busted through her veins. "That's why I'm happy." the brunette added.

"Happy?"

"Happy because it's June."

"June…" Quinn repeated with a smile, almost quizzically. There was a lot more honesty to this one.

"Which gives us four months. I don't know about you but coffee doesn't take that long for me to drink" Rachel said with a smile, her own eyebrows rising.

"Right" She agreed, smile growing though her eyebrows still showing a glimpse of confusion. "So…coffee?"

"Well since you're offering, sure." Rachel shuffled with a smirk; Quinn shook her head but remained smiling. J

Just before she turned to open the car door she came close to Rachel, so close that the girl could almost feel the softness of her breath on her neck. Quinn whispered into her ear the place where she worked, which lucky for Rachel, was a coffee shop. It was a half an hour drive from where she lived, but it would be worth it. Quinn pulled away and got into the car, instantly Rachel missed her proximity.

As the girl pulled out of the school parking lot, Rachel began to make her way towards the school until she heard a voice call her name behind her. The window of Quinn's car was pulled down and in the dim moonlight she could make out her date leaning out of it.

"You better not bail on me" Quinn called casually, a half smile glinting through the night – still, there was a mixture of threat and nervousness intermingled in her voice. Rachel didn't have time to answer, the girl was already off - but she knew she wouldn't bail on her, she knew that as soon as Saturday came around she would be in a car and on her way to see her.

She also knew something else in that moment, perhaps not consciously, but she still knew it – or more so, felt it. She knew that that was the girl she would marry. She knew that she would never bail on Quinn Fabray in her entire life.

* * *

**The First Bite**

**June 29th 2010**

A week later Rachel ran out of the car as the rain poured down onto her. Her hair was soaking wet and any ghostly presence of the curls she'd put in was completely destroyed. The same applied to the makeup she'd been putting on prior two hours before the drive. It was all ruined. But the worst part was that she was late.

Two hours late.

The traffic was terrible and Rachel nearly had a panic attack behind the wheel as time cut her no slack. She couldn't bare the thought of Quinn leaving, nearly as much as she couldn't even fathom the idea of Quinn thinking Rachel had bailed on her. She panted as she ran to the door, her shirt clinging to her damp skin. Through the darkness she could still see the coffee shop emitting a warm glow, but there wasn't anyone inside. She landed outside the door still panting as she scanned through the windows, only to confirm that it was in fact empty.

"No, no, no, no…" Rachel muttered to herself as her doe eyes stared and searched, until they halted. Her body halted. Her entire world halted. The air was sucked straight out of her lungs as she saw it, well her.

A blonde bunch of a bun poking up behind the bar.

A grin broke out onto Rachel's face as she leaped forward and patted the glass as she knocked to get Quinn's attention. Hearing the noise, the bun revealed itself to belong to a different girl than that night – but still the same one, simply a different version (the version that became Rachel's favorite). Dressed in plain black clothes with a green apron over them, Quinn gleamed with a natural honey color as she wore less make-up than that night. Her hair fell effortlessly in a disgruntled kind of way and her lips tugged into a smile as she saw Rachel and quickly made her way to open the door. "Quick, get in!" Quinn hustled as she pulled Rachel into the warmth.

"You're drenched! You must be freezing." she stressed empathetically, not even mentioning the time.

"It's okay, I'm okay" Rachel nodded reassuringly, but Quinn just frowned before raising an eyebrow. She wasn't having any of it.

"Wait here." She instructed before disappearing to a room behind the bar. Rachel took a few steps further into the shop and looked around wide-eyed, catching every detail of the cozy cafe.

"I'm sorry that I'm late." Rachel called loud enough for Quinn to hear. There was ruffling in the back as Rachel came to the till and looked through the glass at the cakes on display.

"Honestly, don't worry about it." A voice croaked in the distance, but Rachel's forehead still creased in guilt.

"But look, you had to stay after it closed and everything" She silently sighed to herself, just in time for Quinn to rush back in holding something grey. Slightly out of breath, the blonde huffed a misplaced strand of hair away from her forehead before shaking her head in reply to Rachel.

"We closed at three today"

"But you said to come at six?"

"I know. It's better without everyone else…don't you think?" the blonde quizzed, handing Rachel a fleece with the coffee shops logo on it. "It's not exactly flattering, but its dry. Also, you'd look good in anything so." She added in a matter-of-fact manner. Rachel felt herself blush.

And then it hit her. She had to change.

Rachel stayed frozen holding the jumper, wondering if she should go the back room Quinn had just emerged from. Quinn stared at the girl before catching on to the situation.

"Oh." She started, eyes widening before an idea came to her. "Here, I'll turn around." Quinn added, and Rachel did the same.

Rachel peeled off her old shirt and slipped into the jumper as Quinn rattled away with something. With some difficulty, Rachel finally managed to get into the ensemble and fold her own clothes. Before she turned around she heard Quinn's voice.

"Close your eyes." Quinn tempted, before adding in a more instructive tone "open your mouth."

Rachel's mind went to places it shouldn't.

Her face filled with the familiar heat it usually did before she blushed. Hesitating for a moment, she took a leap of faith as her heart drilled against her chest. Slowly, she turned around with her eyes squeezed shut and her lips gently parted. They weren't met with Quinn's lips, but the second best thing. Chocolate.

Surprised at first, Rachel's eyes jolted open until she decided to chew. And there was Quinn, with a fork in hand waiting for her reaction.

"Good?" She asked, behind her Rachel could see the cakes that had previously been on display. "Perks of working here, we get to take all the cakes home that weren't bought. So, do you like it?" Rachel swallowed before letting out a moan of delight, followed by a stark expression of embarrassment – but to her surprise, Quinn grinned.

The girl yanked Rachel's hand and pulled her down towards the table of two that the cakes were laid out onto.

"Okay, okay – try this one." She almost purred, slicing off another bite for Rachel. This one had a creamy texture and nearly fell off of Quinn's fork. As Quinn brought if closer to the girls face it collided with her nose, leaving a whip on the edge of it. Quinn's hand quickly came up to her own mouth as her expression winced in anguish.

"I'm so sorry-" the girl began but she couldn't finish her sentence, Rachel had already picked her own fork as a weapon and graced Quinn's own nose with a brown dollop.

A smile of vengeance presented itself on Rachel Berry's lips.

It wasn't long before that smile was replaced with Quinn's own lips. A lick, a flick, a bite - a kiss. Mixed with sweet vanilla and crushed raspberries, two lips overlapped in a gentle caress. Rachel Berry, the bosy glee club member with a love for ladies and the spotlight had kissed the elusive Quinn Fabray. Or more so, Quinn had kissed her. Rachel could hardly fathom the idea of the blonde liking her, but she'd kissed her. _She'd_ kissed _her_.

Before the girls knew it, two hours had flown past. Two hours filled with conversations of secrets, facts and simply the human act of getting to know each other. Rachel told Quinn about her two dad's and her singing, Quinn let Rachel know about her sickly strict and conservative family (that would kill her if they ever found out about any of that),and her knack for theatre. Rachel confessed that she'd always liked girls but had only realized it in high school, Quinn came to the conclusion that she'd never liked a girl – not before Rachel that was. She changed the conversation at that point, halting at the words that gave away too much. Rachel didn't mind though, since being sat opposite Quinn with cake was too perfect to find a fault in. But eventually, like all good things, it was time to part. Until next weekend of course, since the next date had swiftly been arranged just as their lips had parted.

"You sure you're okay driving home?" Quinn softly asked, clinging to the door as she stood inside the coffee shop – Rachel already outside.

"Yeah, I promised my dad's I'd be home." She explained regrettably, her eyes still holding Quinn's own gaze. "Are you sure I can keep this jumper."

"Yes. Better not lose it though." Quinn playfully threatened. Something about her was different now, a little more guarded compared to the girl minutes before.

"I'm forever in your debt."

"Good, I'll remember that." Quinn's eyebrow darted up in temptation.

"Thanks for the cake." Rachel smiled up at the blonde; a smudge of vanilla tart still lingered on her lip. She wanted nothing more than to take it off, but something in the kiss made Rachel knew that this was all new to Quinn. And in some way, it was new to Rachel too. It just didn't feel new with Quinn. It felt like she'd known her her entire life, but at the same time every moment was a thrilling live-wire.

"Thanks for driving over." Quinn said in that same aura of mystery she always carried. If it wasn't for the looks, and of course the kiss, Rachel could imagine being worried that Quinn didn't like her. And painfully, it was part of the allure that pulled Rachel to her like a magnet. Was Quinn really thanking her for taking the time to drive? Or was she thanking Rachel for not bailing on her in her own way.

"Goodnight, Q." Rachel hushed with a lingering smile that seemed to never leave in Quinn's presence.

The door chimes rustled as Quinn shut the door and Rachel got into the car. With the taste of Quinn and vanilla on her lips, she drove home and waited for the next time she'd see her favorite pair of eyes.

* * *

**December 15th (present day)**

Rachel woke up sharply to find herself in a pair of blue scrubs that painfully mimicked the dress that Quinn wore to prom.

She lay there in silence as a different type of dullness engulfed her. She awoke again, this time a doctor was speaking to her – they were both sitting somewhere, somewhere different. A café? The hospital café.. It was only when Rachel heard the word 'Quinn' that she began to fully listen.

"I'm sorry…could you repeat that?" Rachel stuttered, looking at the other women.

"Of course. As you know, your fiancé's CT scan showed signs of brain haemorrhaging." Words. Just words. Words that weren't meant to follow the words Your Fiancé. "We purposely keep patients with these sort of injuries in a comatose state to reduce swelling and further injury."

Rachel looked down at her clothes, her own clothes. When had she changed? How long had it been since the crash? She noticed the doctor looking at her with a worried expression, so Rachel nodded in attempt to convince her she was fine and for her continue. All that mattered was Quinn.

"As I was saying, to allow the brain to heal itself as the swelling subsides. And then we slowly wean them off it." Two days, it had to be two days. One day spent in hospital, observation – that's what they did in Greys Anatomy right? Then the next day, which was today, that's when she must've been released. Her dads must have bought her clothes…an image of Quinn's brain swelling swung Rachel back into an unpleasant state of concentration.

"Do you have questions?" The women in the white coat asked, and Rachel did have one. It had been on the tip of her tongue the moment she was awake. It was the only question she could focus on, it was the only thing she needed right now.

"Can I see her?"

A blue curtain separated them.

A blue curtain of thin fabric was all that was between Rachel and Quinn. But it wouldn't be Quinn, it would be the remains of Quinn after the accident that Rachel was to blame for.

After she saw her, there was no going back. There was no forgiving herself. There was no thought that would contain anything but this shattered Quinn. She yanked the curtain aside like a band-aid.

Maybe she thought she would look different, maybe almost unrecognizable. Perhaps that would've been easier, because what lay in the bed was too painstakingly familiar. She lay there looking like she could get up any second, as if she could just lean over and plant a soft morning kiss on the side of Rachel's head. There lay the same lips that shouted at her in their arguments, the same pair of lashes that shut reality from her imagination, the same chest that raised up and down, comforting Rachel that she was still here with her. Everything was the same, apart from the wound. Like a slash of red paint against a blank canvas, the injury was brutal and out of place.

Stitched with a thread that in comparison to the perfection of Quinn's body looked harshly out of place. Purple's and red stood out against her honey skin, just like the tube that ran straight into her throat. It was then that Rachel began to notice the differences. The wires that plunged into her love's skin, the gauntness of her cheeks that had once beamed peach only a day ago. Or two days ago. It didn't matter now. Rachel came to her side with a hallow emptiness, unable to tear herself away from her greatest mistake. She did this to Quinn, or so she felt with every ounce of her being. Quinn was not there, she was somewhere far away. The rising and dropping of her chest was a lie.

Slowly, Rachel took her frail hand in hers and reached into her own pocket – extracting the silver band with a delicate diamond glistening in the middle of it. They took it off for the scans. She slipped it back onto the correct finger and stood to leave, not before she pressed her lips delicately to the blonde's forehead.

"I won't bail on you, Q." Rachel whispered, eyes squeezed shut.

She waited for a moment for her to say something back – something witty, sarcastic, anything. But only silence remained. Only silence and the lie of her still beating heart. _Don't bail on me, Quinn._


	3. Blueberry pancakes

**Chapter 3**

**2nd July 2010**

"Stop it, Rachel!" Quinn called from the kitchen. The door to the garden was open and Rachel had found herself perched on the patio in her sundress. It was a hot day, the kind of heat that stuck to your skin if you lay out for too long.

Ever since prom, or more precisely that night in the coffee shop, Rachel had spent very few summer days without Quinn – and it was perfect. The odd day when the blonde was absent, Rachel was counting down how long it was till she could see her again. Most days were spent at Rachel's house or around her neighbourhood. They'd see a movie or take a walk in the park, either way it usually ended up with them kissing. Nothing more and nothing less, the girls had cocooned themselves in each other's company. There were no labels too, though Quinn had become a very much welcomed houseguest to the two Berry dads. It only took three sleepovers for them to get the hint, even though it seemed like the girls themselves were still oblivious. It was easier that way, to live in a world with just the two of them – sharing secrets and kisses, and holding hands in the supermarket when no one was looking. It wasn't just easier, it was the only way – because each summer day also came a day closer to when they would have to say goodbye. They'd spoken about every topic possible in the last month, except for that one. That was never mentioned.

It was the first time that Rachel had been to Quinn's house. Mostly because it's further away and Rachel's family seemed to be a little less suspicious and nosy when it came to house guests. But also, Quinn was adamant about not having Rachel meet her family. She loathed them, and their relationship was more than rocky for the past year. So Quinn waited until her parents and Frannie had finally set a date to visit her grandparents, and then swiftly played the sick card. She was quite the actress when she wanted to be.

The Fabray house was everything that Rachel imagined to be. The southern colonial family home was lavish yet sensible, and inside it smelt like fresh linen and cut lemons. Everything had a beige glow to it and Quinn's room was a hidden gem in the brightly lit household. It was neat, yet dismantled. It was simple yet had hidden secrets and perks. It was beautiful, but different to the rest of the home. It was covered in polaroid's and had a fresh vase of cream flowers on the bed – it was everything Quinn packaged into four walls.

Rachel had started driving at ten am, so by the time she got there it was nearly time for lunch. Quinn was cooking this time, or more so – for the first time. Rachel was highly apprehensive and a little worried, but she tried her best not to say anything. However, she did peek and prod around the counters to get a clue of what her blonde was making, but her noisiness got her sent outside. The kitchen had become Quinn's domain and there was no way of Rachel getting into that territory now. The blonde and her white lace summer dress was set on proving Rachel wrong about her culinary skills. Mostly, these prejudices had been formed that one time Quinn had burnt their vegan grilled cheese. But to the girls defence, it had happened on a day where Rachel had worn a very short skirt so it wasn't exactly Quinn's fault she was preoccupied.

"I'm not doing anything, chef" Rachel fired back as she continued to stroke the cat. It purred as it twisted itself around Rachel's bare legs and flattened its ears in delight. Rachel pressed her lips together in thought before calling back to Quinn.

"Do you have any fish?"

"Yes Rach, that's exactly what I planned on cooking for a _vegan_." She emphasised the last word, truthfully the past month had made Quinn crave for a steak. But the smile Rachel beamed whenever Quinn pretended to like something vegan was worth it. Besides, secretly she usually enjoyed it.

"Or would it be for that cat that I know you're stroking."

"I'm not – " Rachel paused before sighing in defeat. "Q it's adorable and I think it likes me."  
"I'm sure it does, and if you keep feeding and loving it then it'll stay here." Quinn replied as she sliced the last portion of strawberries.  
"Can we name it?"  
"It's not ours, Rach."  
"I know, but it's not anyones. Doesn't that mean we can name it?"  
"Okay, let's call it Cat."  
"Don't quote Breakfast in Tiffany's on me, Fabray."  
"Fine." Quinn retorted before taking a moment to think. "Porg."  
"Porg? That sounds like a type of German meat."  
"You asked me to name it."  
"Fine, Porg it is." Rachel gave in, rolling her eyes as she played with its tail. "Does it mean anything?"  
"Yep, it stands for Person Of Restricted Growth" Quinn answered deviously and Rachel got the hint. "Corg doesn't have the same ring to it."  
"Now we're definitely keeping it." Rachel called back just to spite her, but she couldn't help but smile.  
"You know I'm allergic."  
"Just like you claim to be allergic to Tofu?" Rachel added before petting the cat for a reluctant last time. She stood up and brushed down her yellow sundress, getting rid of all potential fur.  
"That stuff is disgusting." Quinn grimaced, putting the berries onto the plate and bringing it over to the large wooden table that stood between the counters and the open door. A bouquet of lilies decorated the middle.

"Exactly! But you're not allergic. Anyway can I come in now?" The brunette looked around the garden as to not turn around and see what Quinn had prepared. The cat sunbathed in the distance and Rachel smiled.

Quinn put her hand on her hips as she surveyed the table one more time with a quizzical frown. It was as close to perfect as she could get it. She reached up to her bun of golden locks and tugged them lose, the chef life really wasn't for her.

"Okay Berry, get your butt in here." Quinn demanded as she anxiously waited at the head of the table to see Rachel's reaction.

One foot in front of the other, Rachel pranced in with anticipation. Her stomach was roaring so any fear that she had completely disappeared.

Rachel sharply inhaled in delight.

The table was ordained with huge plates of cut fruit, chocolate sauces, bowls of brightly coloured berries, ice cream and huge stack of pancakes. She didn't have to ask, she knew everything was vegan. It was too much for the both of them and some of the pancakes were far from circular, but in that moment Rachel's heart melted just like the chunk of vegan butter on one of the pancake stacks.

"Quinn I'm keeping you forever." Rachel gushed, her expression crinkled in delight. "I don't know where to start!" she exclaimed with a laugh as she climbed onto one of the chairs. Quinn joined her, a proud and smug smile gracing her lips. Quickly she handed Rachel one of the plates as to answer her question.

"Start with this one." The blonde instructed, gesturing at one of the plates with pancakes on it. But there was something else on it too, way too many blueberries laid out in a weird pattern. Rachel squinted as she tried to make out what it was. It was definitely something though.

"A train?" She suggested, turning her head again.

"Words Rachel, it's a sentence." Quinn prompted, feeling her chest begin to squirm in anxiety.

"Okay, right. Of course. A sentence. Um beautiful friend? Be amazing friend?" She could make out a few letters here and there, but some berries had definitely shifted in the process. Quinn's fingers came to the rescue as they did some reshuffling. "I think you spelt that word wrong." Rachel quietly added as Quinn continued to meddle. Just as she was about to suggest something else, she read it. She understood it.

"Oh." That's all Rachel managed, turning to meet Quinn's eyes.

"Oh?"

"Yes!"

"Yes…?"

"_Yes_ I'll be your girlfriend" Rachel managed through the grin that refused to leave her face from the moment the berries made sense. Her hands reached forward as they gently clasped Quinn's face and tugged her forward to meet her lips with her own. Quinn tasted of the sun and the very blueberries that had made Rachel happier than she ever thought she could be.

* * *

**December 20th 2013 (present day)**

Seven days.

It had been seven days since the crash.

Rachel had spent every second of that week inside the walls of the hospital, just like Quinn. The stench of disinfect became some sick familiar comfort, and the walls and colors that once seemed baron and harsh felt like a sadistic home.

It was a painful limbo where nothing was certain – the only thing Rachel was sure of was that if Quinn wasn't coming out of the hospital, neither was she. If Quinn died on that bed then she'd take Rachel with her. A zombie would walk out, a walking corpse. There was no other way to put it and Rachel didn't have to say the words out loud, everyone could see it in her baron brown eyes.

Rachel's dad's had insisted on flying back immediately, but Jack was the one to come back first. He'd insisted that being there for Rachel was more important, but it was evident that things were troublesome back home. Nonetheless Rachel appreciated his gestures, as well as the fact he'd gone back to their house to get clothes and necessities for Rachel, as well as feed Porg the cat. He brought over some of Quinn's clothes too, because in his mind there was no way she wasn't coming out. Rachel needed that, even though she did burst out crying when she was handed Quinn's cashmere jumper.

Some moments were better than others, but most were spent by Quinn's side. She'd hold her hand and talk to her, tell her how the scar wont show and try to make her laugh. That's when her morals were high, that's when all the tubes and scans connected to Quinn told the doctors what they wanted to hear.

Then came the beeps of malfunctions, of organs making mistakes and stealing Quinn further and further away from life. Those were the moments Rachel was inconsolable.

But then the news came.

The doctors had given Rachel another one of their speeches over coffee, but the only part Rachel heard and cared about was the fact that she was coming back today. They were bringing Quinn back. She made it, Quinn had fought and she'd survived and made it through. She would be okay, and Rachel hated herself for ever thinking otherwise. Of course Quinn would make it, this was the girl that graduated top of her class from Yale, the girl that was head cheerleader and dropped the title, the girl that went to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror rather than prom (where she was crowned Queen) and the girl that looked into her father's eyes and told him that no she was not going to go on a date with Biff because she had a girlfriend. Quinn Fabray was a survivor, and Rachel Berry was her biggest fan.

Even the fact the Fabray's were on their way didn't matter to Rachel, not when she stood at the end of her bed knowing she'd see her favorite pair of eyes again. Maybe the comfort of her family would be good for Quinn – Rachel didn't mind the glares if it helped her, she'd do anything to help her.

She couldn't contain her excitement as she gripped onto the white bannister of the bed, listening to the drowning sounds of the machines that would soon cease. She watched Quinn's chest rise and fall, more than ready to see it do it on its own.

"Don't crowd her, she'll be a little groggy. Let's just give her some space." The nurse explained and Jack nodded at her for both him and Rachel. Nothing was taking away the girls attention at a moment like this.

Quinn's dark lashes fluttered. Her eyes unlocked to be met with the world outside them once again and Rachel finally felt like she could breathe.

"Hi!" Rachel breathed through the grin, trying her hardest to stay calm and not run up and hug the girl. The only thing stopping her was the ever present guilt. "It's so good to see you…" she managed, not sure of the right thing to say. She'd usually ramble, but rambling was banned.

Quinn just looked confused. She frowned but instinctively winced, the wound on her forehead stopping her. She took in the room slowly before looking back at the nurse and Rachel.

"Quinn." The nurse began in a calm tone, clearly this was protocol. "It's ok. You're in the hospital. You were in a car accident."

Quinn still looked confused. The wires attached to her wrist and fingers captivated her interest as she anxiously looked at them. It was clear she was distressed, but the nurse had to continue.

"You hit your head but you're okay, we just kept you asleep for a little while."

"How do you feel?" Rachel added nervously, knowing that she wasn't quite okay. There was something wrong, something bad.

"My head hurts." Quinn replied cautiously, examining Rachel and the nurse. Instantly Rachel looked over to the nurse who explained it was perfectly normal. Jack said he'd give them some space and left the room, the nurse was about to follow as to get something for Quinn's headache.

"Was anyone else hurt, nurse?" Quinn asked, looking directly at Rachel. The brunette hesitated and got the nurses attention before she went too far.

A thought crossed Rachel's mind. A painful and dangerous thought that had the power to destroy Rachel from within, like exploding shrapnel wedged into her heart. It couldn't be true, but she had to make sure. She almost smiled at how ridiculous the thought was.

"Quinn you know who I am right?" Rachel asked, but she wasn't asking. She was just making sure. It wasn't a question, because the possibility of her saying no was unfeasible. In her mind she could hear Quinn laugh and see her roll her eyes, but the girl in the bed just stared back.

"Yeah." Quinn said. But Rachel didn't have time to be relieved, not with what followed straight after. "You're my nurse."

Rachel's heart was gouged out and ripped in two right in front of her eyes. She thought she'd need all those tubes just to keep her breathing. But she didn't want to breathe, she didn't want to feel this drowning ache that began to suffocate her. She thought she was going to have a panic attack, she thought she was going to die – Rachel gasped for air as her eyes bored into the nurses, demanding relief. She needed to hear the nurse say it would go away, she needed to know it could be fixed. Her eyes screamed for help.

But no one could save her, and it wasn't her who needed saving.

Rachel plucked up everything she had left as she came to Quinn's side, refusing to cry. She didn't know what was holding her together, but somehow she managed to perch down on the seat next to her.

"Quinn, I'm your girlfriend. Your fiance, actually." Rachel managed, her throat dry and coarse as she looked at the girl.

The wide eyed blonde tensed up as she took a slow and shaky breath, the tubes still attached to her nose not being enough for a moment like this. Her body became rigid and as Rachel gently reached to touch her arm she flinched away like a cat, staring back at her with almost unfamiliar eyes.

Then Quinn looked down at the hand Rachel tried to touch, the hand that belonged to her. It shook a little as she brought it up, fingers stretched out. A band that felt foreign clung to her index finger.

Rachel couldn't do it.

She almost ran from the room, following corridors that she hoped would lead her somewhere else. Behind her the nurse nervously followed, but anguish was replaced with anger as Rachel turned around to her – the tears cascaded emotionless down her cheek. She fiercely wiped them away as she stared at the woman.

"You said!" Rachel exclaimed, her arms defeated as they rose up only to fall. "You said that she'd be okay, that things were good." Betrayal shone from her doe eyes.

"Miss Berry you have to understand that a brain injury isn't like a broken bone or a laceration, they're much less predictable." The nurse defensively explained. "Sometimes it's due to the way the swelling tissue presses against the skull it can cause some impairment-"

"Some impairment!?" Rachel retorted, her voice filled with pain. "She doesn't _remember _me."

Rachel walked away. It was that or hit a nurse, and she didn't want to end up in jail or have Quinn's first impression of her be assault. That thought still made her sick, the fact that Rachel no longer existed for her. She found a room to look herself in for the next couple of hours, it was probably for a patient but the nurse let her in – Rachel gathered she too realised her safety was at risk.

She shut her eyes for what seemed to be a second, but when they opened again a clock informed her she'd been asleep for the last two hours. That was the most she'd gotten in a row since coming here. Rachel closed her eyes again but felt her phone vibrate, reluctantly she unlocked it to see three messages.

The first was from Jack who'd apparently been filled in and was giving her some space and went back home, he also said Porg needed to be fed. She was glad at least someone was thinking about the cat, even though it's origin shot another pang of pain through her system. The second was from the Fabray's, or rather Judy – the most amicable one of the lot. They said that their flight from Geneva was arriving tomorrow morning so they'd be there straight away, and that a doctor had been keeping them informed. The latter was simply a justification as to why they hadn't visited their daughter considering she could've died. The last was from Brittany and involved a lot of distressed emoji's, it involved something about when they should come and visit. All in all it seemed like the world hadn't given up on Quinn Fabray, and Rachel felt empowered to not to do the same. So with a heavy heart she decided to see if she could get a little more sleep before facing the tragic series of events that was her life.

Rachel felt a prod. She didn't move. Another one followed, this one harder. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut. A third and painful prod followed to which she shot up with an angry expression.

She found Quinn staring plainly back at her.

The blonde looked pale as she hovered in one of the drab dressing gowns provided by the hospital, but still she was standing and that's all that mattered. Rachel looked over to see it was a ridiculous time of the night, but clearly Quinn was given time to wander and luckily for herself, Rachel finally didn't feel tired.

Being alone with Quinn felt nice, almost normal. Rachel managed to smile as she pulled her hair back into a pony tail.

"Hi."

"Hi." She replied to Quinn, who wouldn't stop staring at her.

"What are you up to?"

"Sleeping…" Rachel said with a smile, almost trying to make a joke. She didn't know what else to do, Quinn nodded with pursed lips. A silence covered them before Rachel took in the girls dressing gown once more. "I brought you some clothes."

"Thank you." Quinn said politely, before hesitating and sitting down by Rachel's side. "Um, I'm kind of hungry." She confessed. A smirk grew on Rachel's lips as she got back another piece of Quinn, the kind that destroyed reeses cups and ravaged red velvet cake.

"Okay – come on." Rachel said, making her way out of the room and hoping Quinn would follow. Unsurely at first, she did.

The hospital was different at night – quiet and almost calm. It seemed that at least this floor had gone to sleep along with its patients. It wasn't long till they got to the empty cafeteria, retrieving a tray each before going alone the tray of food.

"So I just wanted to verify a few things with you, about me – about us." Quinn began, it was as if she was speaking to a teacher. A formality and almost southern charm came over her and Rachel couldn't help but wonder if this was what Quinn was like before she knew her. Quinn the Queen Bee. Quinn the girl who would never look twice at a girl like Rachel.

"Sure." Rachel agreed, placing a bottle of water on her tray.

"So you're my girlfriend."  
"Fiance, but yes."  
"Which means I'm gay."

"You don't like to put labels on things, but technically you're bisexual." Rachel explained, Quinn's face furrowed in confusion. The brunette panicked at the thought that maybe the brain injury had turned her as straight as pole, but she knew things didn't work that way. Besides, she was pretty sure Quinn looked at her boobs at least twice already.

"Right. And I have weird hair." She added in a tone of disgust and Rachel couldn't help but smile.

"I, uh, I think that's taking a narrow view…" Rachel replied, holding back a chuckle. She thought back to how Quinn's hair used to be before she quit cheerleading, Rachel had seen a few photographs. She then looked back at Quinn's wavy wild golden locks. "You said you couldn't be bothered to dye it lighter all the time and it took too long to straighten, you prefer to use that time to write and take photos." Rachel added with a shrug.

"Take _photos?_" Quinn almost chocked, once again wide eyed. "Why do I take photos?"

"You like to, and you're good at it. _Really_ good at it. In fact you're going to have a showing in a couple of months" Rachel nodded as she took a bag of potato chips.

"What about my English degree?" She replied, almost horrified.

"You have that, I mean you graduated Yale." This seemed to comfort her mildly but the mention of photography had clearly dismantled her.

"Last time I wanted to take photographs I was eight" the blonde said to herself, placing some juice on her tray. "What about cheerleading, do I still do that?"

"No."

"But I won Prom Queen, right?"

"Yes." _But you didn't go. _

"Good. Wait, oh shit - do my parents know I'm gay?"

"Yes."

"And you're sure that I'm…" Quinn's eyes narrowed and focused in on Rachel, it was true the girl was beautiful. She decided not to finish that question. That one she knew for herself.


End file.
